Lucy Liu

Short and Long Term Goals

Its been so long since I've written and I thought I for a few dark moments I would leave LJ. But, I've been brought back after a long summer of seeing old friends, making new friends, trying not to strangle customers and working. So, since this new school year has started out crowded, frustrating and lonely. I've decided to make a list of a few short and long terms for the next few years.

~Learn how to play the drums and piano.
~Learn to read, write and speak Korean and practice Spanish.
~Get into shape with exercise and weight lifting.
~Learn any of the Martial Arts: Jiu-jitsu, Judo, Tae Kwon Doe, Kendo, Hapkido etc.
~Get more sleep, drink less coffee.
~Get good grades this semester and raise my GPA.
~Transfer to a 4 year University.
~Send in my application to ISU.
~Join clubs and make more friends.
~Inquire into/Look for a new job.
~Go to Harper's Health and Psychological Services (room/building)
~Keep in touch with long distance friends through e-mail.
~Trim down my book reading list and concentrate on school.

....just a few things I jotted down during my Humantites class. I will definitely try to update someday, sometime. 

..at least I'm sorta alive...though I've grown more apathetic to everything around me. Yay!
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Lucy Liu

NES love (Past Blast)

I was flipping through the April Newtype magazine and I came across a two page fold of a game coming out on PS3. I flipped past it before but the second time around I stopped and stared at the title for two seconds before it clicked. The title of the game was Ninja Gaiden. I stopped staring and started laughing hysterically because I remembered a long long time ago when I was in Alabama. The long afternoons of sitting in front of the tv playing Nintendo.

I searched through good ole Wiki and found a list of NES games. I started getting all these geeky thoughts about the past games I've played....

For anyone who's played NES do you remember...

The orginial three-in-one Super Mario Brothers/Duck Hunt (with the awesome gun and the stupid laughing dog)/World Class Track Meet?

Bionic Commando?

Contra?

Donkey Kong?

The Legend of Zelda?

Mega Man?

Mike Tyson's Punch Out (with the Mario referee)?

Ninja Gaiden?

Paperboy?

Skate or Die 2?

Spiderman: Return of the Sinister Six?

Star Wars?

Super Mario Brothers 2 & 3?

Tecmo Bowl and Super Tecmo Bowl?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game? 

Tiny Toon Adventures?

Twin Cobra?

Oh man those were a few of my favorites. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NES_games#S   <<<<<If you want to see all the NES games.

Maybe I should give a real update later...maybe after I finish looking at this list.....

Yay Ninja Gaiden!!!

Lucy Liu

Absolute Hell....(Work rant)

I understand that making a mistake is a big deal, a huge deal even. But, how do you expect me to learn when all you do is I make a mistake you swoop down on me and scold me in front of customers and then expect me to go on with the rest of the day? I had my second day of work yesterday working from 10:15-7:15. It was the worst day that I have ever worked. I made the first mistake in the morning with a customers orders. The day went downhill from there.

I work at Mitsuwa  as a cashier for one of the food stands in the food court. I take down and ring up orders and then I call out numbers when the food is ready. Seems simple enough. I made my first mistake with a customers order and my boss found me and told me about it while I was on my break. I knew the day wasn't going to get any better after that and I was right. I kept making mistakes left and right, with peoples order and the register.

My boss would find out, scold me in front of customers and then push me aside as if I didn't know anything and corrected my mistake. Afterward, she would "talk" to me about what I did wrong. This was going on all day. I could handle the pressure, the lunch rush and everything else. What I couldn't handle was my boss condescending scoldings to me. What was worst was the look she would give me after I made a mistake. She gave me a look you would give a child when they crayoned the white wall, or if they knocked apple juice all over the kitchen floor.

I felt like such an idiot, a child and my low self esteem wasn't helping either. This happened all day. I was getting so frustrated that I was *this* close to tears after another scolding and look. She was treating me like a child and I'm not a child. Didn't she know that I was trying? 

How am I supposed to learn from example when she would swoop down on me after I made a mistake, and push me aside from the register and then tell me to do other things when I am supposed to be learning from the registers? How am I supposed to learn if this happens ALL FUCKING DAY.  I couldn't help comparing it to Borders. At least at Borders if I made a mistake they would gently correct me and tell me that its okay and I was still learning. At least with Borders I was able to correct my mistakes, learn from them and be able to learn on the registers. 

I actually found myself freezing up whenever my boss was around. I actually did better on the registers when she was in the back and I was with a co-worker. It is not a good thing that I am so afraid of making mistakes in front of her that I continually mess up so she can scold me and give me that look.  My self-esteem was so low by the end of the day that I was telling myself I was fucking up, that I sucked at this, at the same time telling me that it was only my second day.

I don't know what to do. I need this job and the money but I keep going on like this then I am afraid I am going to snap at my boss one day. 

I stopped listening to her by the end of the day. She kept yelling at me to listen to her but how can I learn from her example if she is not even setting a good example for me to learn? 

So, this leaves me with this one question: What should I do?
Lucy Liu

The Audacity of Hope

"I am reading Barack Obama's new book. I borrowed it from the Borders (yay for the Book Loan program!) and I'm thinking of buying it now. The first chapter he talks about Republicans and Democrats. The problems with each party.

I just thought that what he said at the end of the first chapter was so compelling that I went back and re-read it to try to understand the full meaning. 

Its sorta long but, its compelling and hard to explain....so read on! (if you wish)
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Lucy Liu

(no subject)

I went to my second interview with Borders today. Yes, Borders called me, I was in shock too.

I GOT THE FREAKIN JOB!!!! :D

You are now looking at a Seller for Borders in Mt Prospect. for $7.00 an hour.

fuck yes. 

Though I don't think I would have the job with Jordan's mom, Ms. Prager's awesome recommendation. I love Ms. Prager  :  )

Otherwise, life is hectic. One midterm, two tests, and a book report due Monday (worth 10% of my grade) awaits me next week. Wish me luck.

Who knew the month of October would be so busy?
 
-October 20th: Going downtown with my friend Patrick. He is running in the marathon and I am going downtown, to keep him sane and pick up his stuffs.

October 22th: Mr. Prager is holding Tubapalooza at Hersey to help raise money for Katrina victims. I volunteered to help usher.

My school books are calling me..must study....

But I leave you with something that my friend Sarah e-mailed to me today. It is called Food For Thought. Its so true of life today and people. Read it if you wish...

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Lucy Liu

(no subject)

The person I am ranting at doesn't have lj. I am just ranting cause I need to get this out of my head.

This rant is directed to one person only. If you don't want to read a rant then click away from the angry entry... So..onward!

You are being a complete bitch.

A child

A immature backstabber and a hypocrite.

You are purposely provoking Jordan and I and for what ends? Your own stupid childish revenge?

You need to fucking grow up. You can do your stupid childish games and your stupid *cough* with your friends walking away laughing but I'm not going to do anything about it or you.

I loathe everything about you and what you've become. I loathe the decisions you made, who you hold yourself up to be and your selfish attitude.

The only reason I haven't striked out at you is not because I am afraid of you. It is because I am not going to stoop to your childish "Cindy" level.

You can keep acting like this for all I care.

You are nothing but a child to me now.
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Lucy Liu

(no subject)

I nearly died today.

I was driving to pick up Jordan and right before I hit the train tracks, I go into this weird kinda trance.

Well, I completely missed the red light..barreled right through it, with cars honking their horns and woke up after I heard the cars honking at me.

I don't know if I should be grateful, relieved or shocked.

But I know I am definitely glad to be alive.
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Lucy Liu

(no subject)

Lately, I've been buried in books. Right now I just got out of Spanish...and I really wanted to bang my head  repeatedly, pop some pills and keep moving.

Lately I've been thinking of Journalism is really what I want to do. I am going to my Intro to Journalism class and the more I learn, the more I am starting to hate it. Its hard to explain when I love writing so much.  My teacher is pretty nice but maybe I am just discouraged or something.

I realized that I want to do more Humanitarian work then write about the news. But, then again in another way writing the news is helping people learn about the world and what is going on. Maybe what I want to do is more hands on. 

Lately, I've been reading more and more about what is going on...rape, mass killing, looting, 50,000 to 80,000  dead and I want to do something. 

The question about me going to Darfur and what is probably going to hold me back for the time being is this: How can I go to out of the country and help people when I need to sort out what's going on in my personal life?

Oh and I am so sick of Harper.  GMOOH for the love of all that is holy. Good grief.
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Lucy Liu

(no subject)

"Wake up."

What's going on? Why do I have to wake up? and Where am I?

"You ask too many questions."

But isn't it good that I ask questions?

"Not in this case stupid. Now shut up and listen to me for a minute. You are going to snap out of this way of thinking. You are going to stop being everything you are now."

What does that mean?

"You really are stupid."

......

"What I mean is this: You are going to stop being so shy. Actually talk to people instead of hiding behind a book and ignoring the world around you."

But..what if I want to hide behind my book?

"Listen to me: You can't hid behind a book forever.  You say you want to be a Journalist right? You have ever since you convinced yourself you can write something."


Ever since highschool I've always wanted to write on the school paper. But, I watched from the wall as the opportunity to be involved passed me by. I always tried to write something on paper but I would pick up a pen and put in to the paper and nothing would come out. I would stare at the white paper and imagine that it was a vast white monster that was eating me up from the inside.

"So you can be deep"

I can be deep. I know I can. 

"Right...sure whatever."

Why are you so critical and so.....

"
Self defeating?"

Yes.

"Because idiot its a defense mechanism. Its a way for you to cope with being you. "

So..what are you telling me to do? 

"I'm telling you to stop to put yourself out there. To show who you are through words as you do with your writing."

I..don't want..to...

"You have to."

But, why?

"Because you owe it to yourself. Thats why."

How...when should I...

"Right now."

I have another question. How long are you going to be with me?

"The truth of the matter is that I have been with you all your life. The tiny voice in the back of your head screaming at you when you do something unlike your self. Or screaming at you when you do something when you do something at the influence of other people. I have always been there. But as for the question of how long I am going to be with you. Well, its all up to you.

Ok

"So..what are you going to do? How are you going to start?"

Now you are the one asking too many questions

"Oh shut up and get started."

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