Jenny (lilyoda) wrote,

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Absolute Hell....(Work rant)

I understand that making a mistake is a big deal, a huge deal even. But, how do you expect me to learn when all you do is I make a mistake you swoop down on me and scold me in front of customers and then expect me to go on with the rest of the day? I had my second day of work yesterday working from 10:15-7:15. It was the worst day that I have ever worked. I made the first mistake in the morning with a customers orders. The day went downhill from there.

I work at Mitsuwa  as a cashier for one of the food stands in the food court. I take down and ring up orders and then I call out numbers when the food is ready. Seems simple enough. I made my first mistake with a customers order and my boss found me and told me about it while I was on my break. I knew the day wasn't going to get any better after that and I was right. I kept making mistakes left and right, with peoples order and the register.

My boss would find out, scold me in front of customers and then push me aside as if I didn't know anything and corrected my mistake. Afterward, she would "talk" to me about what I did wrong. This was going on all day. I could handle the pressure, the lunch rush and everything else. What I couldn't handle was my boss condescending scoldings to me. What was worst was the look she would give me after I made a mistake. She gave me a look you would give a child when they crayoned the white wall, or if they knocked apple juice all over the kitchen floor.

I felt like such an idiot, a child and my low self esteem wasn't helping either. This happened all day. I was getting so frustrated that I was *this* close to tears after another scolding and look. She was treating me like a child and I'm not a child. Didn't she know that I was trying? 

How am I supposed to learn from example when she would swoop down on me after I made a mistake, and push me aside from the register and then tell me to do other things when I am supposed to be learning from the registers? How am I supposed to learn if this happens ALL FUCKING DAY.  I couldn't help comparing it to Borders. At least at Borders if I made a mistake they would gently correct me and tell me that its okay and I was still learning. At least with Borders I was able to correct my mistakes, learn from them and be able to learn on the registers. 

I actually found myself freezing up whenever my boss was around. I actually did better on the registers when she was in the back and I was with a co-worker. It is not a good thing that I am so afraid of making mistakes in front of her that I continually mess up so she can scold me and give me that look.  My self-esteem was so low by the end of the day that I was telling myself I was fucking up, that I sucked at this, at the same time telling me that it was only my second day.

I don't know what to do. I need this job and the money but I keep going on like this then I am afraid I am going to snap at my boss one day. 

I stopped listening to her by the end of the day. She kept yelling at me to listen to her but how can I learn from her example if she is not even setting a good example for me to learn? 

So, this leaves me with this one question: What should I do?
Tags: work rant
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