Jenny (lilyoda) wrote,
Jenny
lilyoda

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"Wake up."

What's going on? Why do I have to wake up? and Where am I?

"You ask too many questions."

But isn't it good that I ask questions?

"Not in this case stupid. Now shut up and listen to me for a minute. You are going to snap out of this way of thinking. You are going to stop being everything you are now."

What does that mean?

"You really are stupid."

......

"What I mean is this: You are going to stop being so shy. Actually talk to people instead of hiding behind a book and ignoring the world around you."

But..what if I want to hide behind my book?

"Listen to me: You can't hid behind a book forever.  You say you want to be a Journalist right? You have ever since you convinced yourself you can write something."


Ever since highschool I've always wanted to write on the school paper. But, I watched from the wall as the opportunity to be involved passed me by. I always tried to write something on paper but I would pick up a pen and put in to the paper and nothing would come out. I would stare at the white paper and imagine that it was a vast white monster that was eating me up from the inside.

"So you can be deep"

I can be deep. I know I can. 

"Right...sure whatever."

Why are you so critical and so.....

"
Self defeating?"

Yes.

"Because idiot its a defense mechanism. Its a way for you to cope with being you. "

So..what are you telling me to do? 

"I'm telling you to stop to put yourself out there. To show who you are through words as you do with your writing."

I..don't want..to...

"You have to."

But, why?

"Because you owe it to yourself. Thats why."

How...when should I...

"Right now."

I have another question. How long are you going to be with me?

"The truth of the matter is that I have been with you all your life. The tiny voice in the back of your head screaming at you when you do something unlike your self. Or screaming at you when you do something when you do something at the influence of other people. I have always been there. But as for the question of how long I am going to be with you. Well, its all up to you.

Ok

"So..what are you going to do? How are you going to start?"

Now you are the one asking too many questions

"Oh shut up and get started."

Tags: weird
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